I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
