I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
