So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize