that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize