I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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