i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
