dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
