I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
