my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
