Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
