god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
