I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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