i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize