If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize