I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
