I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
