I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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