How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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