I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
