he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
