We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
