i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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