i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
soo... how was my night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
