I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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