Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
