i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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