so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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