Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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