the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
