Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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