Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
