Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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