I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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