My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my being single is dangerous.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
