were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you win again, gameday.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
