Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We left an ass print on the piano.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
