I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
