needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
