Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
