Who wears a wallet chain?!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
