you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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