Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
