"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Mom said you looked used
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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