At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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