Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
