Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
