Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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