I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
