Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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