Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize