i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
