i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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