Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize