Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize