is your mom at the bar?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize