my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
