I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
