She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
