she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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