i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
