I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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