Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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