I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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