But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
