Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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