I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
