Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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