Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
