You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
