just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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