I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
